I am very excited for later because my friend from Providence is coming to stay in the city. As well as my friends from New Jersey. They all went to school together with a piece of shit friend of mine in Providence so I met them through him. Thank god for them. Not him. Every time we all get together I end up passed out on a balcony somewhere, lost, damaged, and everything else you can think of in between. It should be a good time though considering the weather is in favor of us and I don't have anything to do all weekend. I'll most likely spend my time drinking mimosas and shopping with one of my 3 credit cards even though they are practically maxed.
The kids I am babysitting right now are being so worthless. Like I'm not even doing anything for them so why am I here? Why am I wasting precious time that should be spent dancing on bar tops and funneling beers on the street with the NYPD? One thing I am not missing out on though is the drunk girls on the street. Don't come to NYC if you cannot handle yourself on the street. There are still professionals around and they don't need to be stepping into your puke in their last season Ferragamo shoes. THERE ARE ALSO HUGE CITY BUSES THAT WILL RUN YOU OVER. So basically if you have a death wish you might as well come here and those drivers will take care of that for you because they don't care if you have a triple stroller full of kids, if your in their way they will take you out and that is that. Last St. Patricks day I got in multiple fights. It was a piece of cake though because the girls were falling down drunk and had their face paint dripping down their faces so it was a sure win. It is always a good thing though because the bars serve canned beers today more than bottles so there will be less smashing of bottles over bitches heads. Ya..that actually happened to me once. It was the day before I went to Florida in August. Actually it was 2 hours before I boarded the plane. Apparently I got jealous because this broad was hitting on my bartender boyfriend (bartender boyfriends are just the bartenders I love at McFaddens, Calico Jacks, Turtle Bay & Irish Exit who I give every extra dollar I have to because they know what I want and serve me at a timely manner) I've also actually made out with everyone of them but that can be discussed another time. Anyways I guess I just randomly went up to this girl and punched her right in the mouth. There was blood everywhere but I didn't even care. I went on with my night. As I was leaving walking up the stairs to the door she came out of no where and grabbed my hair and hit me over the head with a bottle. My head was seriously gushing blood and my hair was covered. I didn't cry a tear. I was literally hysterically cracking up outside because the girl had balls to do that. Whatever, it kind of taught me a lesson. I've behaved a little more since then because I was forced to after I was banned from all 4 of those bars for 5 MONTHS! 5 MONTHS OF PURE TORTURE! I went to those bars EVERYDAY for 8 months and then I am banned. I was heart broken. Then after News Years the huge black bouncer Lester texted me and goes, "when you are ready to come back to 2nd avenue and act like an adult you can come back." I cried. Top 10 happiest moments haha.
Well anyways I got to go drag these kids 6 blocks by their hair to school because they are so lazy and want to take a bus or a cab. What do I look like? Someone who CLEARLY needs the exercise and maybe this 60 degree day will give me somewhat of a tan. Even though I spent a small fortune on a tanning package. Which by the way in Manhattan are RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED. But its NYC and you can get away with anything....
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